LIVING IN THE MOMENT
Surry, ME
IIt’s a calm June morning in the “hipsteque” neighborhood of Hampden, located on the outskirts of Baltimore City proper. With sun beams bouncing off the industrial worn walls, I reflect on the last year that brought me to packing up my existing life, hitting the road, and embracing the enjoyment of living in the moment.
With three weeks until lift off, I begin the purging process and enjoy every second of downsizing my already small physical footprint. I chuckle at the fact that I will be putting my first ever “adult” furniture and beautiful, never-been-hung commissioned paintings into storage. Just a year ago, in April of 2020, I launched my coaching business in a sullen empty living room without a lick of furniture. I covered a beach chair with a charcoal grey fleece and utilized a bedroom side table as a makeshift desk. All I needed was good Wi-Fi, and I was in business. I did not let my humble state get in the way of calling Billionaires and ask if I may help them navigate their inner emotional basements during COVID.
Today, I praise sweet baby Jesus that my personal belongings fit into a 10’ X15’ storage space, and my office beach chair slides into the back seat of my Mini Cooper. The fantasy of having a beautifully appointed apartment filled with an overflow of décor and furniture worked against my bigger vision of complete freedom. It is funny how the universe constantly works in our favor without us having a clue.
Time feels meticulously slow yet there is so much happening for me. The minute I pressed send on the email asking my landlord to exit my lease early, forces beyond my control began to support my next steps, which were unbeknownst to me at the time. A week after sending the email in early June, my landlord informed me that a new tenant wanted my specific unit layout beginning July 1st and asked if I could be out by June 27th. Part of me felt it was too soon as I had no plan and another part of me asked to be still and meditate. As I sat in silence, an adventure-filled Power Point presentation of my future life projected against my closed eyelids. A part of me that had been suppressed suddenly reemerged–– an inner craving to find home.
It was at that moment, I realized I had not felt at home in over 13 years, and instead, I have been trying to force myself into feeling at home in places like Annapolis, Baltimore, and Washington, DC so that I could be close to my parents. I focused on who I needed to be in those places to thrive, yet they left me feeling inauthentic to my truest self. I was recreating my childhood story of constant acclimation to new places and solidifying myself as a chameleon.
My next chapter will be focused on finding home. And instead of plopping down into a place and signing a lease, I am going to allow myself to be led by life. I will try on an array of destinations just like romantic partners to find where I feel most at home in my body and where I can thrive. I am actively learning how to date different physical places and pay attention to what matches my energy without force. It is time to emerge from the chrysalis after a year of cave dwelling.
Stay tuned as I document the highs and lows of my journey with raw candor and the lessons I learn along the way. My first five weeks will be spent on a beautiful rustic property in Surry, Maine that housed the Surry Opera Company in the 80’s and 90’s. The opportunity to work on the property for 15 hours a week in exchange for room and board presented itself through workawayinfo.com, and I couldn’t be more excited to get my hands dirty while exploring the living classroom.
See you on the road!
Edited by Patrick Shannon